How Not to Sell Wine

Girl at the Whole Foods wine desk last night:
"This is really good--it got, like, 90 points!"

Oh! Wow! 90 points! I like how you didn't even tell me who gave it 90 points.
Cuz that's what I was worried about--the number. I dragged my ass out here to Glen Allen so I could buy pricey organic sulfite-free wine based on what some magazine thinks of it. Y'know, cuz wine is purely a status symbol, not something I'd drink to enjoy. I'm sniffing, sipping, and scrutinizing the tastes you're pouring out of that $20,000 machine--but it's all for show. Thank you for finally telling me the damn number so I can get out of here. I hate wine.

Buying wine based on a number is like dating a girl with a big chest based on her bra size. It's a number just for show. The wine thing is actually worse--it's subjective.